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Recovery is what saved my life. I was struggling so much with my ED to the point where I was dying both physically and mentally, but recovery is what brought me back. Now, I am living my life to the fullest, and enjoying every second of it. Recovery is what freed me from the grasps of my eating disorder. Now, I live every second of my life out of spite to my ED.



Hong Kong

Recovery was one of the hardest things I’ve done so far in my life, but it has given me so much. It’s given me a lot of my happiness and mental freedom back and it’s given me the energy to rebuild relationships with friends and family. Recovery has taught me a lot about being kind and understanding to myself and genuinely appreciating myself. I remember being really reluctant in recovering at first but looking back it was the best decision I’ve ever made because I kind of “found myself” again? haha it’s corny but it’s true!! So without doubt it’s a decision I continue to make every day :)



I am in recovery for almost 10 months now and it’s been a hard but also an amazing time. First, I was recovering on my own and it was hard to control my feelings. I struggled a lot and then when I opened up to people it became much easier!! I started to eat my fav foods again and find motivation in small things every day. In the beginning I was ashamed of my eating disorder but now I am not. When I have a bad day, I go talk to a friend or my mom and it turns better. Recovery is the best choice I made in my life! 🤍



13 y.o. Republic of Moldova

It all started in the summer of 2019 when the first lockdown happened, and weight loss was trending on TikTok. I wasn't an overweight child, but being a girl meant that my body had to change and go through puberty, so I started putting on weight. Due to boredom, I decided to build a figure and lose some weight. Obviously, I didn't know that a 10-minute workout wouldn't do anything, so I started googling more information. I came across calorie counting, but I didn't really count anything because as I said, I was a child who had no idea what a calorie meant.
On the 1st of September the new school year started. I remember that on that day I woke up earlier only to lie to mom that I ate breakfast. I didn't actually eat it, because I was convinced that skipping it made me prettier but did it really? I was irritable and had headaches, but surely it couldn't have been anything bad, after all the voice in my head was praising me for it.
A new wave of covid started. My mom was barely home because of her work. School was online. I felt out of control, so I started restricting even more. I remember walking in circles crying because I wanted to bake something so bad, but there were already several cakes that I didn't even touch. Baking for others and seeing them eat made me feel superior, but in reality, I was miserable. One day my mom came home and started crying, she told me that if she needed to, she would kneel in front of me just to get me to eat normal food in normal quantities again. I was so deep in my eating disorder that I perceived her offer to help me as something bad, as if she wanted to harm me.
Because of how badly I was treating myself and my body I had some horrible side effects. I either slept 15 hours a day or 2. I couldn't poop for so long that I had to get an injection. No matter how many times a day I showered I always smelt of vinegar. I was cold, so cold. It wasn't just a simple cold, it was a feeling of emptiness from inside, but still I wasn't 'sick enough' because no one knew about my struggles.
There's a lot more to say, but I don't want others to compare, so I will talk about how I started recovery.
For me, recovery, wasn't always recovery. This means that I've been convincing myself for months that I was in recovery when I reality I was still listening to my eating disorder, but this time it was more like 85% rather than 100%.
Choosing REAL recovery wasn't easy, especially since really no one knew and couldn't understand about my eating disorder. But I know that I had multiple reasons. I wanted to be like a normal girl, with curves and pretty eyes instead of a tired and drained of life one. I wanted to be able to live fully. After many attempts at recovery, I finally started all-in recovery.
January 2nd, 2022. This is the date when I was reborn when I started living instead of surviving. It was not a linear process, not at all. Sometimes the stress from trying to be the best at school made me creep into old habits, trying to grasp a sense of control. But even in the hardest moments, I reminded myself that my only chance to live a proper live was to help myself. I went through all the things so many people fear in recovery. Extreme hunger, insomnia, skin problems, but there's not a single part of me that regrets recovery.
Yes, it's such a scary process but I promise everyone who is struggling with an eating disorder that it will get better. It may take months or years, but you will start living. I used to be afraid of eating a single apple but a few months ago I ate half an apple pie without guilt!! I used to be so depressed that the thought of talking to others made me have a panic attack, but I just came from a 10-day camp where there were hundreds of strangers.
It will get better, but you have to make effort. Recovering without professional help and understanding from others was tough, but it is possible. If you are struggling with an eating disorder, I want you to know that no matter if you have a team to help you or don't, you CAN recover, but only if YOU want to.

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