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  • Writer's picturelindecatherine

Dealing with rejections

Being rejected is something all of us will have to face at certain points in life. Whether it is not getting a university/job offer or not receiving an award. Rejections are crucial parts of our lives and coping with them is a lesson necessary for everyone to learn. It is better to experience it on a petty decision rather than fully face it later in life when stakes seem much higher.

Yes, it is heartbreaking to be told “no” after so much time and effort have been dedicated to the process. It can be enough to make anyone want to stop putting themselves out there again altogether. But if you allow this one situation to set you back, the consequences might be far-reaching.

Rejections should be seen as an opportunity for growth and strengthening of character. Giving up is not the right way to react. On the other hand, look at it as a motivational boost to try harder to succeed and achieve more next time.

After a rejection, we tend to beat ourselves up over the things that might have led us to be rejected, which inevitably makes us feel worse. Dwelling on the past does not provide any benefit as there is no way we can change something that has already happened (at least not yet). The right thing after a rejection is to self-reflect. Think about why something didn’t work out or what you would’ve done differently. Sometimes certain lessons will come out but a lot of other times the rejection will just not make sense. These are the worst types. In this situation just let it go (as hard as it may sound). Don’t waste your precious time looking for reasons in something unreasonable. Life is too short for that.

Time is our most valuable asset – don’t waste it on misery

Remember that a rejection does not in any way undermine your worth. There are so many other great places and opportunities available that might be more suitable for you. Don’t let this one situation deteriorate your self-esteem. Acknowledge the sadness you are feeling but do not turn it into self-criticism. A good idea is to take some time off and take care of yourself. Afterwards you will not only be more grateful to yourself but also will have more energy to start the process of discovering new perspectives.

Remember, rejections happen to everyone, so the next time you’re turned down for something you've been longing for, instead of allowing yourself to be devastated and beat down, ask yourself what you can do going forward.

"The most important thing is to not sit in the rejection, but to say; Is there anything I can learn from this experience?" asks Gottlieb. "And then what can I do moving forward? Where can I go?"
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